Monthly Archives: February 2015

Life Coaching/Therapy Myth #4


Have you gone through a phase in life when you thought you need the guidance and expertise of a therapist?Andthen you just shook your head and said, ‘Yes, but therapy is so expensive.’

People often look for quick-fixes instead of therapy for financial reasons. Like that, that cigarette puff which gives you a fake sense of calm, that shoe on sale which replaces your stress with style, that random intimate encounter which makes you feel momentarily wanted,popping those pills which lull you off to sleep or that ‘one more for the road’ drink with the guys which makes you forget it all. However I’d like to propose a question for you here; Therapy is expensive; as compared to what?

For me, it was a personal investment. I spent five years learning and trying every new theory and therapy during a time in my life when I couldn’t afford it. There was pain from my past that I knew I needed to address, and for me it warranted using my credit card and working two jobs. Now, I’m not surely encouraging you to do the same—that’s a decision only you can make. But my view is that good coaching/therapy is worth the time and money. There is greater cost for not doing the inner work to improve the quality of your life. When you consider how your well-being – or lack of it – will impact your relationships, health, career success, and overall life satisfaction, personal life coaching and/or therapy is an investment clearly worth making.

MYTH: Life Coaching and Therapy is expensive, I can’t afford it.

FACT:Yes, seeing a life coach or therapist often can get expensive. Yet when you think about price, what’s the cost of not going for it? Your relationship/marriage?Your job performance? Think about how your distress may conflict with your work, relationships or your life and then make a decision about pricing.

It is also true that you don’t have to always pay top dollar for expert help. Yet people are hesitant about entering a client-coach relationshipin order to prioritize their own well-being and let the cost be an excuse for not getting help.

Health insurance companies often provide some mental health coverage, but whether a coach or therapist takes insurance or not varies. If they don’t, many offer sliding fee scales based on income for people who need help but can’t afford it.Most of usaspire to make a positive difference in people lives. They are do-gooders and want to help people, so if someone needs care but can’t afford it, you can usually work towards an installment payment structure which is best suited to your financial position. Thereafter it is just a question of budgeting and prioritizing. Sometimes professionals also provide mental health services for free or at a reduced fee on certain days or hours of business as a gesture of gratitude and giving back to the community at-large.

In conclusion; the long term cost of not getting the help one needs can be high. You may think why should I pay someone to be nice to me and care for me? I can get that for free from a loved one. However, there is huge difference between a life coach or therapist and your family/loved ones.What you pay for is their time, expertise and commitment to your success – the caring infact is for free.

Note: Tasneem Kagalwalla offers free of cost online/1:2:1 life coaching every Saturday between 0900 -1300 hours CST. Prior appointments are required. She reserves the right to accept or decline a client based on your requirements and/or space availability.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best for you.

Life Coaching/Therapy Myth #3

Life Coaching or Therapy is a pseudo-science, all mumbo jumbo!

Imagine this. You’ve lost your job and your career seems to be going nowhere. Your finances are a serious worry and the daily charades of life seem to wear you out. Your relationship status stands at messed up and you are up close and personal with an identity crisis. Mental health challenges have manifested into physical ailments. Depressed and anxious you struggle to stand strong against these extremely trying times. You seem to have tried it all; fought your illness with medications and your mind with will power. You even prayed every day for God to relent and cut you some slack. Yet you just cannot get a grip on things and like bone china you seem to be slowly crumbling apart.

MYTH: Life coaching and Therapy is a pseudo-science, all mumbo-jumbo!

FACT: Now hopefully (and thankfully) you may or may not be going through all of the above all at the same time, however take one or a combination of any two and you still have a pretty hard battle ahead. At such a point of time someone you know directs you to – a Life Coach; a Therapist.

Desperate for a resurrection you eagerly listen, go through several testimonials and then – wait a minute; you stop dead in your tracks. Why? Because you wonder, you are terribly concerned and you absolutely have to know if life coaching/therapy is a pseudo-science before giving it a shot. Seriously, do you really need scientific evidence to convince yourself to take a chance at success?

No, I hear you say.

Then what is that which is truly stopping you? Are you afraid of trying all over again? Are you scared to commit to your success after a series of bouts with failure? Are you overwhelmed by the diversity of practitioners out there? How do you go about finding a reliable life coach/therapist?  Are you skeptical of the financial and emotional investment? These would be more appropriate questions. For honestly having been there, done that myself the last thing on my mind was the placebo effect or any such scientific predicament. It was instead lack of clarity on the above. So I took the first step. The decision to do it. The rest followed suit with the help of some dedicated research on available life coaches in my area, holistic practitioners and their references.

Having said that it’s ok to be concerned about the subject, after all it has the possibility to bring about great results. Often people think that life coaches or therapists choose to disregard science and instead like to think of it as an art. But this common critique of the profession is filled with misunderstandings and errors that lead people away from a deeper understanding of the complexities that exist in the development and delivery of evidence-based mental-health care. Let’s take a look at some reasons why individuals often do not receive coaching/therapy based solely on what science says to do.

Truth and Science:

Let’s talk about what science is not. Science is not the same as truth. Science is just a method that moves us towards the truth. The amount of effective interventions we have yet to uncover through research will eventually dwarf what we have figured out thus far. Therefore it would be safe to conclude that scientific studies that do exist are full of limitations and likelihood that what is currently termed as a pseudo-science be proved as a scientific cure/breakthrough at a later date.

Generalizations and Science:

We all know that science generalizes in order to conclude. The problem with research studies is that they isolate various mental health issues whilst weighing them against a sizable randomized norm so as to come to an evidence-based conclusion. However how often are two people alike? How often are our models of the world identical in nature? Also for example; how often does a person suffer from obesity only, without it being linked to a lack of self-worth or any other limiting belief? What happens when a client approaches a life coach or therapist with multiple issues? Should the life coach explain to the client that while we do have a scientifically proven treatment for obesity, we don’t yet have an evidence-based treatment protocol for combined challenges? Please come back a few decades later? Obviously not. And so we use our expertise to tailor an individualized coaching plan best suited to the client history and current circumstances. Would this be what you refer to as mumbo-jumbo?

Rapport and Science:

We must consider the role of the rapport between client and coach/therapist as a potential variable that influences the outcomes of coaching and therapy. Surely that’s not the only thing that’s needed. No coach/therapist is sitting around sipping iced tea and making friendship bands with their clients. But a good therapeutic relationship is necessary and a key ingredient that helps people succeed. A skilled coach or therapist can help create a safe and comfortable environment to rebuild one’s capacity to overcome and triumph. I wonder if we’ll ever be able to measure how the client-coach/therapist rapport contributes to the healing process. I hope we do but what if we don’t? Does that mean it’s therefore not part of what makes coaching and therapy useful?

In conclusion; evidence-based treatments are absolutely the backbone of what coaches and practitioners should be using to help people. It is great to know that various colleagues in academia continue to work tirelessly to find evidence-based treatments for those seeking help. We need those scientists working for us all, and science will certainly contribute to our deepening understanding of psychological function and dysfunction. But right now, let’s admit it; we just don’t have all the answers…as yet.

And so for now I will continue to work tirelessly to help individuals, using everything I have in my arsenal. That includes evidence-based practices, knowledge, skill, empathy and staying committed with those, fully aware that we perhaps don’t have all the answers but continue to have the conviction and faith that together we will surely move towards wellness and growth.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best for you.

Life coaching Myth # 2

Do you believe a life coach will fix you?

You are driving down the highway and all of a sudden your car stalls and swerves. You struggle to keep control and just about manage to get the car to come to a grinding halt. Yikes! Something is wrong with your car.

What’s next? When there is a problem with your car, you take it to a mechanic to get it fixed. You take it to an expert.

What about when you are feeling unwell? You go to the experts; life coaches. But you are not a car and you cannot be fixed.

For Life coaching to work, you need to be an active participant, bringing your expertise about what life is like for you. The best solutions and insights will come from you, with the coach acting more like a skilled and knowledgeable facilitator, guiding the process. Coaches do not fix you and they do not tell you what to do, how to walk, talk, think, and feel. And thank heavens for that! Can you imagine being dependent on a coach to tell you how to live?

MYTH:Life Coaches are experts. They will fix me.

FACT: If only this were true! A qualified coach is there to guide you through your challenges and coaching is an experience where you can feel relieved that you are not alone with your problems, there is a qualified and proficient individual who is there to guide and direct you to success.

Working with a coach can be compared to working with a physical trainer. Although a trainer can provide an inspirational structure for change, helping the client to identify specific goals and suggest a regime to achieve them, it is always up to the client to make use of the tools provided.

Coaching can be similarly overwhelming at first. Initially you may not even notice the results. You wonder when you will see the new changed you. It is common to feel a bit worse before you feel better, but if you stick with the process, let go of old habits, and rework some perceptions, soon enough you have your mind and body functioning better than ever.

Coaching does require you to work and does not always provide an immediate sense of relief. You may confront feelings, thoughts, memories or personal insights that are uncomfortable, even painful. These experiences result in you wanting to make changes in your beliefs, values, habits or behaviors that may make you uncomfortable at first.  Yet with time and effort they will result in a happier healthier you.

In that sense life coaching is a lot of hard work—a process more akin to going to the gym than going to the spa.

Ultimately the responsibility for change rests with you. The coach will not provide you with a psychological blueprint of who you are. The coach’s role is to provide a safe and comfortable environment along with a trusting relationship where questions can be addressed. Coaches will not often give advice, but rather, help you to understand the conflicts within you that make it difficult for you to make your own decisions. Of course there are a-ha moments and revelations during sessions, but for change to really happen and last, the majority of the work happens between (and after) sessions. With your coach’s help, you work towards your goals, decide on a plan for growth and change, and then practice the new behaviors not only during the sessions but most importantly out in the real world.

In the long run, the goals of coaching are for people to develop more awareness, gain more self-insight, and make the most of their strengths and abilities thereby creating a new compelling future ahead.

People like:

  • Taasha made the big move – quit her job and relocated across continents to move forward with the relationship of her dreams.
  • Sarah is using the tools and techniques that she learned to close deals in her new Sales Manager role.
  • Neil left a successful career with the aviation industry to follow his passion and is now a successful fashion photographer.

You could be next!

Top Reasons why you need Life Coaching

About life coaching

Life coaching is different from mentoring, advice, consulting and therapy. The coaching course is about how to resolve your personal projects, achieving business goals, and making changes in your personal life, understanding with others or work by analyzing which is right for you and removing any hurdles in reaching the goal. In short the coaching is about giving shape to your dreams.

Personal life coaching is all about yourself and guides you to reach your goals in life. The thing is how to change the way of your behavior and personal emotions to overcome the current challenging environment. The coaching is to fine-tune your positives and use it in the right direction of reaching the goals set for yourself.  Training is conducted on week, fortnight or month basis based on your needs.

Now a day’s business and organizations are looking to meet their goals in the current challenging climate. They require training to motivate their staff and the right people to handle the assignment. You need skills to lead the team to achieve the target. In a team everyone has their skills, but as a leader you should listen there to their views and mix it with your ideas to reach the goal. The executive coaching program is on the lines and grooms the staff to work in an amicable manner to reach the target, apart from bringing a close rapport. All this will lead to the growth of your organization.

NLP investigates the rapport between on your thinking (Neuro), your communication with other (Linguistic) and importantly on your behavior (Programming) with others. NLP certification is getting training in Mental and Emotional Release Therapy (MER). The training will improve his way of thinking and change your attitude with others, to reach your personal goals.

NLP coaching is giving a boost to your current abilities, how to use them in an effective way to reach your targets. It will improve your interaction with your clients in reaching the milestone. The coaching is useful for any individual or for any person with experience about NLP.

Breakthrough life coaching is about to change the life of men and women. It is about where you are and where you want to go?  You can benefit from life coaching. It helps to you to manage your job and family, to make improvement in your life. The training will help you to get the answers which you are asking for yourself. Life coaching is the training method to provide right shape to your goals and with the help of the coach.

Life coaching is about to give support to people to make the right changes. The right changes will show the path to reach the goals. Life coaching is one of the fastest growing professions in the world today. Life coaching USA is helping people who are feeling dejected in life and reshaping their career.

If you are looking for a life coach to change your career, we are here to provide the help. We also provide help to organizations and their staff to improve their performance.